Thoughts from the Heart and Mind

The Footprints of Jesus

2009-08-02T12:08:00.003-05:00

In many times throughout my life, I've often wondered where God was in my preoccupations, both in great times and in tougher times. Just recently, I experienced a trying time at my workplace, having been told that I have done something that caused my management to lose some trust in me. It had something to do with my interactions with the individuals I work for. If you're curious about the details click here to read an entry on my new blog page. Basically, I struggled with pain and hurt and felt hopeless because of things in my past that are creeping in to my work. I felt that I was hopeless not to change and I felt as though my pride was a big issue that could play a part in keeping me from making reconciliation.
In my struggle in this situation, I came to the Lord the other day and asked him to cleanse my heart of the pride that still thrives within me. I told the Lord that I wanted to do things according to His will, and not by my own will. When I did this a phenomonal image entered my mind. This image is a familiar image that I've seen over and over again, and have experienced in real life many times before. This image was of big footprints left in the snow that I were stepping into, in order to keep on the preexisting path. In the image, I was a child, walking in the footsteps of my father, not able to cover the prints with my feet and barely able to step into each step as my father's stance was larger than my own. As the image lasted a thought also came to me. What if the footprints ahead of me stopped suddently, that means I would make my own path once after stepping out of the prints my father had made. I would set my own destination and I would have to walk in the deep snow in order to do it.
The meaning of all this for was that while walking in the footprints of Jesus as His child, if I long to walk according to His path for me, I need to walk in the existing prints He leaves for me and not be impatient by creating a path I think He might want me to go out on. That was a great reminder for me to be patient and wait for the steps God wants me to take. How good God is and how wise He is in making me wait. The Lord does not want me to tread in the deep snow on my own to get stuck or to fill my snowboots. Instead, He wants us to take steps inside the prints He leaves for us because we are His small children and He is our big daddy.

A breath of fresh air? Not just for quitters!

2009-07-22T22:56:00.002-05:00

This afternoon, a commercial for Nicorette caught my attention while I was at work. I basically just saw the ending of a commercial where this guy was talking about how Nicorette gum helped him quit smoking. It wasn't the marketing approach or any glitzy graphics that caught my attention, but the phrase the man says at the end of the commercial. The man says, "I still want to smoke, I just don't have to." Now that was an interesting phrase to me.

The thought that entered my mind was, "man, that's a lot like sin." A long time ago, the apostle Paul wrote to the early church in Rome, who apparently were struggling with sin. He said in Romans 6:13-14,

"Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."

In vv. 16-18:

"Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one one whom you obey--whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."

Our message is that Jesus is like Nicorette. Jesus saves that which enslaves us. Now as for smokers, one might agree or deny that smoking is a type of enslavement, but it is an addiction. Sin, like smoking, causes us harm and will bring us to death. So Jesus is the Nicorette of salvation. Jesus frees us from sin.

However, as a Christ-follower, time and time again I rediscover that sin has not left my life. I indeed am a sinner. However, like a Nicoretter user free of the cigarette, I very often "want to [sin] but I don't have to" because Jesus has broken my chains of freedom and offers me righteousness, which brings healing and life. This is not because of what I've done, but because what He has done for me.

How great to see a message of freedom likened to the freedom through Christ on a simple commercial! Great.

Speculation

2007-02-14T10:41:00.001-06:00

RUSSELL DOERKSEN HAS A.D.D!!

Waiting for Freedom!!!

2006-12-03T17:04:00.001-06:00

So, it's December 3, 22 days until Christmas day and two weeks until my freedom is granted and I can escape school for three weeks for the grandest holiday ever!! My family is planning a trip to Whitecourt, Alberta, to visit my sister, Amanda, and her husband, Russell. It's about time that we come visit them and see how their living situation is without just hearing about it. I'm kind of stoked for the holiday, not just for the trip, but for actually being able to spend time with my family for longer than just a weekend [and a rare one at that].

I express my desire to escape from school because right now school seems to be a burden, which for me is rather unorthodox. Since coming to Providence College in the Fall of 2004, I have fallen in love with learning and classes and the like. I have been stretched so much since attending Prov that for me to say that I am sick of school is like a fish saying, "I want to breathe air." However, things have changed and I am in need of a break from school. Perhaps it's because the classes I'm taking aren't as intriguing as the ones I've taken before. The most likely reason is probably because during the whole semester I've been distracted by the friends that live in close proximity from me. Homework has tended to take a back seat to fun with my really good friends he in dorm. Alas, freedom is in the back of my mind because homework definitely isn't, which is the reason why I have been handing in a handful of my assignments in late. Maybe by second semester I will be regenerated and my desire to do work will be back. I guess one can only hope.

I keep thinking about where I will be next year, which is my senior year in my degree program at Prov. Mine is a four year program, which differs from pretty much everybody else's, who complete their programs in three years. So that means that 99% of my freshman class is gone next year, and I will remain to bask in my depression, knowing that I will be alone, with hardly anyone left from my original social circle around, except for the others in four year programs. So, I have been thinking about where I will be living next year. Should I live in dormitory again [of course I will by vying for my own room]? Or should I live off campus where one of my friends is considering also? Here's an opportunity for you to respond to my blog: what do you think?

Not ANOTHER Writer's Block?

2006-10-17T21:16:00.000-05:00

So, like always I am reflecting on my tendancy to forget to blog. "I know I have some flavourful foibles to share, I just know it!"
Well, where I find myself now is in the middle of the first semester of my third year already.
I DO have a beef about school rite now. They cancelled YE 2007. That is a bunch of bull b/c YE brings in so many Christian youth and youth who are seeking God. It's always been a highlight. Apparently the leadership is being changed up a bit and now they are taking a break to decipher what needs to be done with that and with other foci of the event. I really hope that they seek God on this fully and offer opportunities for students to suggest ideas. Sorry for any of you who imensely enjoy Youth Encounter and will be deathly disappointed by the cancelation. I certainly am. Oh well, I imagine the school is doing what they feel is necessary.

A school shooting like no other

2006-10-03T12:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, a 32 year old man barricaded a small amish school building in Pennsylvania to take "revenge for an old grudge" and opened fire on innocent school girls that ranged from 6 to 13 years of age, killing two girls immediately [plus an adult teacher's aid], before turning the gun on himself. while 2 died later in hospital, with five injured in total. Apparently this man was angry at God and life, he was emotionally and spiritually detached because of the death of his daughter three years ago. He had also apparantly molested young girls a few decades previous without his family knowing. According to his wife he was an outstanding husband who loved and cared for their family. This sparks wonder in my head as to why a loving husband would tear apart an isolated, innocent community. I think of Job in the Old Testament who lost his livelihood and still didn't deny God or rebuke Him; although he believed his fate was due to some sin in his life. I think this man, named Charles Carl Roberts, is an extreme example of people blaming God for what has befallen them. In the case of Roberts it seems that he gave up on God all together, seemingly without telling anyone. He allowed himself to go insane with rage.
On the opposite end of the story are the families of the little girls that were killed, who have completely forgiven Roberts and have begun the healing process. As a support to these families even Roberts' wife is asking prayer for her family and for the families of those lost.
I think that in all the stories that we hear about school shootings in North America this is the one that can offer the best spiritual lesson. In the complete article (http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15113706/) the mother of a victim is quoted to say, "There’s two things that happen to your faith. Either you let it go and get bitter, or you grow stronger — and we’ll grow stronger." I think that that's a truth that no one can deny and this horrible incident proves it. I just hope that it doesn't take another incident like this to make people realize the truth.

My Sentiment

2006-10-01T13:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I haven't been all that good at regular blog entries I admit, but the my personal purpose of this blog is clearly stated on this page: to share thoughts from the heart and mind. What's annoying is that I cannot offer great insights all the time or don't feel like entering posts all the time either. What's also unnerving is the fact that sometimes when I do have a thought I would like to share I often do not think to enter it here to share.
Gosh--I guess I can only say this: that I really need to be less hard on myself for failing to enter blogs regularly, I know that I'm not the only person like that.

There is one thing I would like to share, and that is my current emotions in coincidence with a class I am taking this semester. New Religious Movements is a class that studies the new relious waves that root from Protestant Christianity, some that ironically devalue Christ to only creature of prophetic character and do not consider him Savior and Lord. My question is 'HOW?' How can they do that? My mind is stirring because I cannot imagine how people could allow themselves to be misled in such a way, especially ones who have been a part of the Christian church and have a fair amount of experience in the Faith. For instance, the Jehovah's Witnesses, who actually use the Christian Bible as a key resource but often reinterrupt small things--like changing the occurance of the word 'the' in some passages to 'a' [interestingly this is often enough to throw people way off of the path of righteousness]. It hurts me to know how NRMs like these separate the figures of the godhead like this and how it actually winds up leading people on to believe in many ungodly things. That, I think is a shame.

I think we as Christians need to be praying for these people. I think we as Christians need to be learning about these people and what they actually believe. And, in the particular case of JWs but others too, we as Christians need to welcome them into our homes and speak to them about true freedom in Christ Jesus.

Update Withdrawal

2006-09-09T11:26:00.000-05:00

From time to time I check my blog here to see if I have gotten any comments. I realize that my blog may not be the most spectacular existence in the world and that any comments I do get are evidence that at least some people actually care what's on my mind enough to read them. However, I also realize that I haven't been contributing much of my thoughts as of late and the whole realization of any lack of commentary on the part of my readers could in fact be that I am not giving them anything to read all that much. So, alas, here I am writing--experiencing a little bit of update withdrawal.
To resolve my case I am once again returning to the blog world to share what is going on in my world. I'M BACK AT PROV! and very excited for my third year. I am taking a lot of practical courses that will be very beneficial for me in ministry. I'm hoping that all will go well and that God will really stregthen me further in my walk with Him and in my knowledge of faith.
I believe it will be a great thing!!!

A Lesson Returned

2006-08-05T20:47:00.000-05:00

You know, it's interesting what insights can happen during times in life. My reminiscing is in reflection of Monday night's devotional at camp, which I led in our cabin at Winkler Bible Camp. I was talking to my guys regarding Hebrews 11:1. In it the author says: "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I used this Scripture in a two level teaching: 1) For my guys, who are all churched, in order to encourage them to stick with it in case of doubt in their lives. 2) To encourage them that their lives are the proof of their hope, and certainty of what unbelievers do not see.
Basically, I told the guys in my cabin that the hope that they have, the Love of God and Salvation in Christ Jesus, was their proof of God and purposeful life in a world of unbelievers. That, despite skeptical proof-finders in our society [not to say that everyone is a skeptic--or even a cynic] the guys can be evidence of God through their lives. They can prove God by acting out the love that they have from God towards other people. I told them that that is what truly attracts unbelievers to God. In a world of science and 'answers', I told them, the one true proof of God that we have to offer them is the hope that we know lives within us as Christ's followers.
Now, this is all very profound and even a bit homeletical, but the thing was that night, I didn't really prepare anything for devos. I just winged it and that's the lesson that came out. So, I guess it wasn't just me talking that night, but perchance it was the movement of the Spirit in me.
How interesting and inspiring. Those words that I said that night had never entered my mind before, and after that even I was edified.
So a lesson that I led was a lesson to me in return. Like the old saying goes, "eureka!"

Time has passed...eh!

2006-07-18T14:29:00.000-05:00

So, for all of you loyal blog readers of mine. I must apologize. It sure has been a long time since my last entry. You know, it's quite a disappointing thing actually. You see, I was going to enter a blog upon my return (May 16,2006), however, I was going to include pics--well that didn't work on my comp b/c of slow internet. After that I figured I would wait until a pinacle moment in my life before I started blogging again, and in a moment I will share that moment. But first:

My trip was awesome. I encountered great people, great sites and great experiences. 2 enormously huge things that happened for me was 1: having communion at Westminster Abbey with a bunch of tourists, and 2: hanging out with a bunch of youth at a youth drop-in in Ayre, Scotland. Fantabulous!

Since my return I have been working. I worked for 2 months at the place I worked at last year, Friesens Corp. who make books. But now the pinnacl moment: I am now privileged to be working at Winkler Bible Camp as a cabin counsellor. I'm loving every minute of it.

Sorry to make my long lost tale so brief. But I got to go. My off time is over and I have to get back to my cabin for canteen.

I hope that satisfies the curiousity of all y'all readers. CHOW!!

My Legendary Trip to Scotland

2006-05-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

So, I'm in Scotland now, enjoying its beauty and learning a bit of its history. I can't believe I've made it this far.
I have been staying in the homes of the people who live in this grand land, learning about them and enjoying their hospitality. I've been seeing God everywhere, but especially in the churches I've met. That is what makes tour successful for me.
Right now I am in the home of a lovely, sweet family with four cool kids. Fraser is with me, helping me with this blog entry. He's cool and likes soccer. He's eleven and is very friendly, besides that he makes for a good companion.
Anyway, that's all for now. Fraser has to go to bed and so I have to stop writing for his sake. Bye for now.

2006-05-03T12:41:00.000-05:00

I've enjoyed travelling through Great Britain thus far, seeing the sites and meeting people of the church. The whole ministry aspect of the trip is what I have been preparing myself for for months ahead of time, and this is came despite of struggles to raise funds for the trip itself. However, the knowledge that I had before hand is the tendancy to lose focus on the ministry aspect of tour altogether, and a week into the trip I can see hints of that happening already. Mainly, I think this is due to: 1) being around people you don't normally associate with outside of choir 2) the sites 3) travelling.

Being around people - I have noticed just how the choir divides into ingroups and outgroups, pre existing friendships tend to disallow for any newcomers to fit in just rightly. Friendships take presidence and there is little will to get to know people outside of one's social circle. Not only that, but people judge people before getting to know them, or refuse to understand and get along with someone with a different viewpoint or personality. Moreover, people miss the fact that we are God's stewards, a travelling congregation of ministers that need to be unified and respected and treated equally.
Sites - I can make a fair assumption that it comes as quite easy for people to be destracted with the sites around them and make their focus that rather than touring for ministry.
Travelling - The fact that we're travelling away from home, to a majestic place full of beauty and history becomes a fascinating dream-like reality to people on such a trip. Travelling and being received by people with such generosity can become a wrong focus when we are to be sharing God's love.

...The Journey Continues!

2006-05-01T18:22:00.001-05:00

So, I am writing in another youth hostel in Exeter, England, the site of Exeter Cathedral where we perform an early afternoon concert on Tomorrow. It is likely going to be a good time I'm sure.
Memorable things so far...
1)Traffic driving on the wrong side of the road. I just about got driven over a couple of times.
2) The sites: Westminster Abbey, Windsor Castle, Salisbury Cathedral, Stonehenge, etc. A lot of places I've been seeing are remarkable. They've been around for many many years.
3) The landscape: mind you, anything you see on television of the landscape in this place does not do justice. It is so beautiful to see it with your own eyes.
4) The people (the Church). I've had some great conversations and contact with people here that I will hopefully remember for a long time. They have affected me greatly and have a special place in my heart.

Key lessons:
1) I need to always remember to learn to relate with the new culture around me. So far this hasn't been a problem, but it is easy to fall into ignorance and make inappropriate or foolish statements. Sensitivity is KEY!!#
2) Sensitivity is key also in regards to the people you are travelling with. This is one of the things I have been worried about from the get go. I have the tendancy to say inappropriate things on impulse. I have felt the result of doing such things already.
Respect is key on long trips like this with people you're around for the whole time. This trip is one of ministry and without respect and sensitivity there is no unity. Let the Spirit live within us, being in our hearts and minds so that we are mindful of our brothers and sisters as to not be stumbling blocks to each other.

Making my Way through the UK!!!

2006-04-26T14:32:00.000-05:00

So, I left for the United Kingdom Tuesday morning with Providice College Singers, Providence's college choir that I am a member of! What a trip! First off I had to go back to Prov on Monday evening with my family so they could drop me off to stay overnight in dorm. Tuesday morning I left Prov at 5am to go to the airport. I only had a 9 am flight but the choir was divided into two, one half left at 7:45 and the other [my group] left Winnipeg airport at 9. I had to leave with a person who was on the earlier flight.
So, anyway, we left Winnipeg airport--my first time flying--and landed in Toronto to await our flight overseas to London. We had a six hour time duration in between flights. Then we finally boarded our plane for England and flew for another six hours, arriving at 6 am local time. We left Toronto at around 6:15 Ontario time and flew over six time zones, arriving in a new day to the land that we are exploring for three weeks. I lost a whole night of sleep.
So, this morning we arrived in London and went through customs quickly. Then we boarded our bus ['coach'] and went to see Windsor Castle, the largest castle in the country--sweet! Then we drove to our youth hostel, where we are staying for the next two nights. The evening we had off to sleep off our jet lag and to explore the city. I did both. Tomorrow's agenda is tentative:

Hopefully...
We will visit West Minster Abbey

and maybe the Tower of London

and then maybe Big Ben, without spending too much money of course.

We begin visiting churces throughout England and Scotland on the 28th, minstering to them through music and connecting with God's Kingdom in the United Kingdom. I'm sure it'll be a blast.
I'll keep you posted.

What to Make of Ourselves

2006-04-05T18:00:00.000-05:00

Seeing as how I haven't posted anything in almost a month, I think I'll exercise my opinion once more, if perchance someone might be enlightened a bit.

You know, I've had to face pretty much all of my flaws in my life, openly. I being an extravert carry my personality explicitely, so my character flaws are displayed clearly to spectactors. In the case of the intravert however, where character and short-falls aren't necessarily so clear, he or she may not need to stand on the receiving end of criticism. I have quite often.
So my question is this: are there such things as character flaws that stand out from the rest of human character, and if they amount to anything can we define what an individual's character flaws are? Are we merely judgmental?
To say to someone in offense or exasperation, "Would you like me to list everything that's wrong with you?" only displays in the addresser a judgmenat character; someone who doesn't bother to understand others. Isn't that displaying wrong character? But then one needs to question what character is.
What is character? Aren't we all different? Aren't we all the same? Aren't we ALL flawed in someway? It seems to me that to define someone's 'character flaws' is giving someone the right to define who someone else is by negative shortfalls. 'Character flaws,' then can be understood as someone's character.
I think the phrase 'character flaws' is used too loosely to describe someone who we clash with, someone we don't understand (in a lot of cases). As I say this I can imagine the argument in offense: what I mean is that too often people are misunderstood by others and the misconception is that there's something wrong with him or her. Is that a flaw in character? I think not.
Personally, I think that the words "character flaw" are used in many cases when people don't understand what they are saying or doing. Which in fact they are labeling someone negatively. It's judgment. I can vouch for myself, saying that too often these judgments are not justifiable.
I can't understand how others are so comfortable in sharing others "character flaws" when they could so easily list all the things that are "wrong" with them.
In a Christian society, the irony is that when someone does that exact thing, they themselves are displaying wrongness in the Christian character. Christ said often "love your neigbour." The Apostle Paul says:

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort
from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and
compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same
love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or
vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves....Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. (Phil 2:1-5,14-15; NIV)
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. (1 Thess. 5:11-15; NIV)

As Christians we should not consider ourselves innocent of having character flaws and we should not regard someone based on his or her character flaws either. If someone you know is portraying negative traits, do not blatantly scold them, set them aside and tell them calmly what they must do to improve their behaviour. I can say one thing more, if someone is constantly being told to their face what their character flaws are, it will infect his or her self worth.
We need to show love, patience, kindness and learn to live with each other because we have the hope in Christ. Christ is what makes our lives worthwhile!

Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of!!

2006-03-16T23:21:00.000-06:00

I find it interesting that a moment can catch a person in a certain mood and he or she does not even attempt to act contrarily to the affect of the present state of mind. Take for example being angry, really steamed. How many of us, when caught in a moment of extreme anger can all of a sudden turn 180 degrees and drive down the streets of happy-ville? If this is a possibility it nonetheless is a rare one.
Just recently I was caught up in a two week (or more) moment in which I was really lazy. I did not want to do assignments, read or do anything productive. All I wanted to do was hang out with friends. Well, sometimes time is gracious and it happened that my reading week occured during that final binge of slothinees. (It is a common thing this time of year, when the winter semester is wrapping up and students are planning for the summer, for students to be unmotivated to do any academic work. School's are skillful at strategy--enter Spring Break [a.k.a. reading week].) Anyways, my time during the break was beneficial because I now have the motivation to do my work again, but I'm sure that's temporary.
Another thought, however, rolls around in my mind concerning momentary lapses of disposition. I think that in the Christian life, such struggles linger. Again I make an example of myself. During this time of Lent I have 'committed' to sacrificing time with friends so that I can spend more time in meditation on God's Word, prayer and intercession. Now, I'm a very social guy and my life disposition has always been that of the socialable kind. I find that even though I wish to spend more time in my devotional life, I find it nearly impossible to isolate myself so that I may spend time alone with God. I have been caught up in my frame of mind to mingle with those around me and I haven't been able to configure my mindset for the committment I made at the end of February.
I think it a challenge for anyone to learn how to set their minds on other things when a life moment can be so long in duration.

Tackling the Treachery

2006-03-10T21:44:00.000-06:00

I've come to realize that "living Immanuel," as I've coined it, is not in reality an easy thing to do. I mean, any real mature Christian can tell you the same thing (I emphasize real in order to express clear authetic faith in a person calling themself a "Christian"). However, I have found it throughout my life as a Christian the truth in that testimony. I don't think it cliche to be reminded time after time that we as people are not living the high life as Christians. NOT HAPPENING! Christ said it himself that we will have opposition against us as people of faith in him--in the form of human opposition or spiritual warfare. One main opposition I find that many Christians in our Western society struggle with (if not even fail to notice) is the comfortable Chrisitianity. To say that we have it all is no exaggeration. We live the high life economically and socially--having rights as citizens. Too easily I believe a lot of Christians get caught up in material things, which leads to being a 'comfortable Christian.' You know, I think if places like Canada would oppress Christians (doesn't seem too far-fetched these days) we would see many people in the pews on Sunday recant their 'faith' without a second thought. I know I sound like a cynic. Maybe I am in some ways. However, my heart hurts for the not so discrete truths that have come about in the church throughout the generations. I know, however, that some of these areas are getting better, people are starting to realize the mistakes being made and have made ammends. I rejoice because of that!! However, I also speak for myself, and just like the broader Church Body, I fail to emulate Christ in humble, modest living.
Anyway, back to my main thought--opposition. As a student I face tremendous stress to get my assignments done on time and with adequate exception in my perspective. SO, right now I'm finishing my reading week and boy, did I need a break because the opposition I have been feeling lately is laziness, and of course that reflects in my spiritual life as well. Having a lazy spiritual life is a great offense to the Christian. But, unlike my humanness I strive to get back in line with God and attempt to nourish my life in Him.
I wrote a prayer earlier today. Here it is:

God, I SURRENDER!

Instead of focusing on my failures and limitations, God, help me to realize the peace and freedom I have in you, my everlasting REDEEMER! I seek not my selfishness God, but your holy will, that has been revealed to me through your Word and Spirit, as you live in me.
I want to thank you for giving me life. Not, just life on earth, as it is a challenge nonetheless to live this earthly life, but Holy Father, I thank you for the eternal life I have in you all because of your sacrifice made on the forsaken cross on that ancient day. My heart sings:

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, for thee!
Take my will and make it thine, it shall be forever thine!

Make me afresh and set my ways for the road ahead—your work in me. Be the lamp upon my feet!
Jesus, be in my mind. I long to imitate you, but cannot shake off my humanness. Mould me to be like you!
Holy Spirit, I recognize your presence in me. You keep me accountable for my transgressions and lead me to repentance. I praise your holiness and never-ending faithfulness. I long for that faithfulness in me.
Set my feet upon the rock as I tread through shaky ground. Cultivate my heart, plough my ambitions, and sow the seed that grows to righteousness. Give me the understanding to separate from the evil within me. Free me from the tyrant within.
I look ahead in anticipation for the work you will continue in me!

With love,

Your chosen!

The prayer reflects many of the things I trust God to be and to provide. The most wonderful one ofcourse is the Eternal Life given us by Christ's given, sacrificed life on the cross. How wonderful is this: our own God, Creator, and ultimate Judge died in human form for all of those He chose to be His in divine love. Do any other religious followers (outside of Christianity) have that as their promise of fulfillment?!
As an opposed community of faith, I think it an honour to even think about this promise. Any opposition will NOT intimidate me away from realizing the life given to me freely by my God.

Living Immanuel

2006-02-22T09:58:00.000-06:00

I can see a point in saying that Christianity is dying in our post modern world. It is a scarey thought no doubt. However, the truth remains that Christianity as we know is a lot looser in its moral ethics and theology than it was 50 years ago. That said, the process of change was very quick if one considers the parallelism religion has attached to the rest of society. It is the existence of relevant truth that I think takes the cake in the depravity of Christian values.
However it is I say this without pinning myself as guilty may be deceiving. I've noted multiple times when my behaviour just didn't add up to the Christian values that I still hold on to (which, by the way reflect the, still, modern viewpoint I'd say). Sometimes I feel like two people. Values I feel can be 'of the moment,' it seems. That sounds disgusting, noting the fact that I see myself in ministry in the not-to-distant future. I can act more 'Christian' one moment and like a complete *%$@! the next. How is it that one's values can change from one moment to the next? This can't continue in me...or in anybody else.
There is a really modest, true man who has visited our Providence College now for a week. He's seeking out schools across Canada and made his way for a stay at our campus. This man, Barry, is a man of godly integrity, a man I can only hope to reflect in my later years. As a new Christian of two-and-a-half years he has the remarkable gift of discernment. He has notice an amount of questionable behaviour at our campus, specifically the men's residence (where I live). He told me yesterday that he and a pair of other guys from our school have been praying for the veil of folly to be lifted from the eyes of those here at Providence. I thanked and commended him for it. I've noticed the same things he had mentioned. The difference between him and myself is that he took more of a stand. Last year I was a bit more like that, but within two years around the same cavalier feel of spiritual living it's remarkable how little it has seemed to bother me in this place now. His presence and care has reminded me to continue fervently to live like Immanuel, Christ, the son of the Living God.
I know that living the true way of Christ has lost its definition in the broader Western Christian world. But if we can discern, or have other discern for us, where things have changed so much in our lives that we have been acting contrary to the Spirit of God, I think we should hold ourselves accountable.

Definitions!

2006-02-21T10:59:00.000-06:00

Okay, so now I am proceeding to keep all of my readers (need I ask for some?) posted on all of my thoughts from the Heart and Mind. So, here I go. To give you a brief thought to ponder on (because I have a class in five minutes and need to go in a hurry) think about this. Why do we define God? Is there any reason to? I think that we can all agree that we can only perceive God to the best of our human capability. But, why do Christians and more specifically, theologians, debate the character of God? Are we to believe in predestination. (Some extreme Calvinists argue that God goes as far as to discriminately seek out those He wants to redeem, while others, the "raprobate" are left for damnation) Are we to choose the open-theistic way for God? ("God doesn't know about or doesn't get involved in anything in our lives.")
Personally, I choose to be a mystic. I realize that there is no ONE way to know God. Because God is so sovereign and we know from human record what God has revealed to the human race about Himself (in which case, some characteristics contrast eg. compassion vs. justice), we cannot fully know what God is like. I'd be prone to just accept what the prophet Isaiah says speaking for God, "My Ways are Higher than your ways, My Thoughts are Higher than your thoughts." That's the full knowledge that we humans have of God my friends.

Unhappy with the old stuff!

2006-02-15T12:11:00.000-06:00

So, I just decided to join blogger.com as my primary blogspace. I haven't been 100% happy with my msn blog. Although from time to time I may enter posts on it for old time sake. We'll see what happens.